I don't know why I felt like this process would be easy or that everything would fall seamlessly into place as NOTHING in my life has ever gone that way. But I do feel some clarity in the middle of all the quagmire. I know that I do not want to get a PhD or PsyD from a "diploma mill" unless I go through the process again next year (which I am now discovering is normal) and get only sad results. I also have the clarity that yes, I know my interests are varied and I get bored easily. But I think that is why I am constantly seeking out new opportunities to learn and live and I will find a path that allows me to do such and feel fulfilled at the same time.
I wish I could create a PhD program like ordering off a Chinese menu: I would like an appetizer of International Relations, a quart of Community/Clinical Psychology, half-order of Public Policy hold the mushrooms and extra Public Health Administration, a half-order of disaster management, a side of Trauma Services, and a fortune cookie full of Social Justice. And can I have that cheap, hot, and delivered to my door?
Realistically when I look at job postings for "dream jobs" (yes, I know there is no such thing) I am acutely aware I need more International Experience. I have looked into and have interest in several programs:
- Clinical or Counseling Psychology (PhD or PsyD)
- International Psychology (PhD)
- Social Policy/Public Policy/Public Health (PhD)
- Community Psychology (PhD)
- International Affairs/Relations (MA/MS programs)
My Jesuit helper roots are showing.
1 comments:
This really hit home for me when you made the analogy to wanting to do a little bit of everything (and heck possibly doing it all at once if you could) to ordering off a menu. See, this is almost exactly why I got fat. I want to eat just about everything that tastes yummy to me. And when I have multiple kinds of yummy food available to me (which is most of the time, really), I am so worried that it will never be there again, that I get anxious. Okay, so it's mild anxiety, but it's still irrational and anxious.
Basically, I have a hard time telling and convincing myself that there is still time in my life to eat something later. That there are other meals. Other days. Other opportunities to eat something tasty. I still have the rest of my life to enjoy good food. And that's just it, there will still be good food eating opportunities, even if the food I eat in the future isn't the exact same kind of food available to me now. And that's... OKAY. Heck, there might be different and in some cases better food in the future. Just take it one meal at a time. Stop worrying about where your next meal will come from while you eat the current one. (That's the worst of my stupid habits.)
I still struggle with this, and I probably always will, but I like to think I'm a little better about it. (Okay, maybe just a little.) And that's okay. The goal is, as you say, to keep calm and carry on. (Or, keep calm and carry a wand, as the Harry Potter fans like to say.) The key to remember is that it's okay if we don't have everything planned out. It's okay if we choose one path/meal over another. There will always be other paths/opportunities/meals in the future and part of what makes life exciting is finding out about them as we come across them. Besides, you never know what kind of opportunity might surprise you out of nowhere. Take it one day at a time.
But thank the Maker for my weight loss tool, oy. ;)
Post a Comment